Skinner's Mid-life Crisis
by doggettandscully
Summary: Assistant Director Skinner begins going through the stages of a mid-life crisis, his strange actions beging to effect all at the FBI......


FBI HEADQUATERS,  
11:21 AM  
  
Doggett twisted his pencil around in his fingers as he sat bored stiff at his desk,  
Mulder sat typing at Scully's desk as he sorted through an unsolved abduction casefile from  
1987. Doggett leaned back in his chair and neatly placed his feet on the desk and glanced up  
at the ceiling with a sigh, he spotted something rather peculiar that he had never noticed   
before, a small arrangement of tiny holes could be seen just above the desk. Doggett looked at  
the holes in a strange manner in wonderment as to how they could have possibly got there, he  
stared hard, gradualy pushing back in his seat. Suddenly Doggett found his chair tilt back in  
an unfavourable manner before gliding forward under the desk, causing Doggett to tip back and  
strangley stop. The chair fell back against the wall and stayed there as the front wheels on  
the swivel chair somehow caught the leg of his desk. Doggett found himself trapped in the  
chair, he was in a dilema, if he attempted to get up, the chair would go forward and he would  
fall off but he couldn't sit in his position with the chair against the wall. He glanced over  
at Mulder who was starring in an undignified manner whilst shaking his head as if to say Doggett  
was stupid,  
"Er...woops I slipped" Doggett laughed in an attempt to hide his embarrassment  
"Yeah as I can see" Mulder mumbled as he returned his attention back to Scully's computer.  
Doggett waited for Mulder to start typing before he decided to try and get up, he pulled his legs  
around to one side and jumped up as fast as he could and watched as the chair tumbled to the  
floor with an almighty crash. He looked back at Mulder who was now peering over his desk at  
the upturned chair on the floor, Doggett quickly bent down to retrieve the chair but in doing  
so, he accidently let out a loud trump. The filthy noise resembled the sound of heavy  
furniture being dragged along a wooden floor, Doggett wondered how two embarrassing incidents  
could happen at once. He wondered wether he should apologise to Mulder or pretend it didn't  
happen, afterall he didn't say anything so maybe he didn't even hear it.  
Doggett grabbed hold of the chair and pulled it back into it's position, suddenly he heard the  
sound of laughter erupt from Mulder's side of the office, Doggett looked in shock to see Mulder  
laughing and pointing in Doggett's direction  
"Good one" He said   
"Er...what?" Doggett asked in confusion  
"That fart!" Mulder blurted out.  
Doggett was shocked at Mulder's actions, he actually found the fart funny and as Doggett thought  
about the way it sounded, he realised how funny it actually was and began to laugh along.  
"Listen" Mulder ordered as he pushed his arse to one side in the chair, Doggett listened hard  
and a breezy, light gas sprayed from his arse causing both the agents to fall about laughing.  
Suddenly Mulder's phone rang causing the agents to stop laughing immediately. Mulder leaned to   
one side and took hold of the reciever,  
"Hello" He said as he placed it to his ear, "Oh Scully, hi"  
Doggett returned his arse to his chair and picked up the pencil he had previously been fiddling  
with.  
"Oh right, okay see you then" Mulder said as he removed the telephone reciever from his ear and  
placed it back in it's position.  
"Was that Scully?" Doggett asked as he tried to find out what she had said without sounding  
nosey,  
"Yeah" Mulder replied and quickly began typing on the computer again.  
"Oh right, anything important?"  
"No"  
Doggett guessed Mulder didn't wish to discuss his phonecall and sat back in his chair, without  
leaning back too far this time,  
"So...whats with the holes in the ceiling?" He asked eyeing the strange circular shapes.  
Mulder looked over at Doggett to see he was refering to the holes he had made with several   
pencils one time when he had been bored while Scully went out to investigate a case,  
"Oh, er...don't know" He lied not wanting to look stupid  
"There must be some explanation, maybe Scully knows" Doggett considered  
"Er...no she doesn't" Mulder blurted out, afraid that she might tell Doggett about his incident  
all those years ago, "I asked her once"  
"Oh" Doggett said with a sigh, "Maybe we should investigate" He joked  
"Er yeah...why don't you get something to eat or coffee or something?" Mulder suggested in an  
attempt to make Doggett forget about the holes.  
Doggett thought about Mulder's offer,  
"Don't mind if I do" He said as he jumped up from his chair and glided over to his satchell to  
retrieve some cash, "Want anything?" He asked excitedly  
"Er,just a coffee and lion bar"  
"Sure" Doggett smiled as he rushed from the office.  
Doggett rushed down the hall with speed, he jumped into the lift and travelled to the second  
floor where he jumped out and ran down the hall.  
Doggett rushed up to the red swing door to the canteen and found that his worst nightnare had  
came true...the canteen was closed,  
"Oh no" He said aloud and grabbed hold of the door handle, "No it can't be!" He said as he  
twisted the knob ferociously.  
"Hey there Doggett" A familiar voice sounded from behind, Doggett looked to see agent Potsanpanz  
standing with a grin, he quickly let go of the door handle,  
"Potsanpanz, long time no see" He smiled. Agent Potsanpanz knew Doggett way back when he first  
started out in the force but Potsanpanz was hardly a 'good' agent, he was dodgy and into the  
darker side of the law. If anyone ever needed anything, Potsanpanz could get it but only for  
people he considered friends and Doggett knew he was his friend.  
"How have you been?" Potsanpanz asked through his strong Brooklyn accent  
"Great, what are you doing here?"  
"I'm here on business...if you know what I mean" He smiled  
"Yeah, sure do" Doggett smiled  
"Do you work here now?" Potsanpanz asked with interest  
"Yep, my partner is agent Scully...well I think she is still my partner, now I'm working with  
agent Mulder"  
"Mulder, Mulder...where have I heard that name before?" Potsanpanz asked with curiosity as he  
tapped his chin with one finger, "Oh thats spooky, right?"  
"yeah, well I guess he's okay" Doggett said  
"Now I remember, he knows the gun men doesn't he?"  
"You know the loan gun men?" Doggett asked with surprise.  
"Yeah, where do you think they get everything they need?" Potsanpanz smiled, "Anyway, nice to see  
you man. I'm here for a while if you ever...you know, need anything" He smiled  
"I'll keep that in mind" Doggett smiled,  
"Catch you later" Potsanpanz smiled as he strolled off down the hall  
"See ya" Doggett called as the dodgy agent dissapeared into the lift.  
Doggett sighed as he thought back to all the times Potsanpanz had helped him out of a sticky  
situation, he particularly remembered one time, when he first started out as an agent for the  
FBI and got nicknamed 'Dog food' refering to his name and eating habits. As soon as Potsanpanz  
found out about the nickname he quickly sorted out the situation and people refered to him as  
agent Doggett from then on.  
Suddenly Doggett remembered that the canteen was closed and found himself grabbing hold of the  
door handle again and twisting it with force,  
"It can't be closed" he muttered, "It's never closed...how can it be?...Why would it be closed?"  
He asked himself as he pulled hard on the locked door. Suddenly Doggett found the handle depart  
the door and fall to the ground,  
"Oh great" He sighed  
"I saw that" A voice sounded, Doggett turned to see Skinner standing in the doorway to the gents  
toilets, "I'll see you in my office at two" He ordered as he strolled off down the hall toward  
agent Bee's office.  
How could he have seen that? Doggett asked himself.  
  
LATER   
Mulder sighed as he switched off the computer, he had been busy all morning trying to  
solve the case from 1987 but finally decided to give up when he found no leads. He looked at  
his watch and wondered what had happened to Doggett who had mysteriously vanished after going  
to the canteen hours ago. He looked over at Doggett's desk to see a mass of unfinished paper  
work, food wrappers and two used coffee cups. He wondered how the desk could get so messy, how  
HIS desk could get so messy, come to think of it why is Doggett at his desk and he's at Scully's  
desk? Mulder asked himself, surely he should be at his own desk.  
Mulder decided that he wanted his own desk back so quickly set about arranging it how HE wanted  
it.  
Doggett wondered into his office with hadfulls of chocolates, two takeaway coffee's  
and a sad face. He walked over to his desk as usual and placed his coffee down before menouvering  
over to Mulder's and placing the other cup down but he found it strange when he spotted Mulder  
had gone, he looked around the office for any signs of the workaholic agent and suddenly  
caught sight of him sitting at his desk, why is he at my desk? Doggett asked himself with  
confusion, and why didn't I see him? had he been going through his secret draw?  
"Mulder...er why are you-"  
"Sitting at MY desk?" Mulder asked  
"What?"  
"Yes this was my desk before you showed up Doggett, I put all your stuff in Scully's draws"  
Mulder said as he snatched up the coffee Doggett had placed for himself, "I'm sure you'll find  
alternate arrangements when she returns" He grinned.  
"You went through my draw?" Doggett asked refering to his secret draw, "Er, I mean draws?"  
"I put everything in those draws" Mulder replied motioning to Scully's desk draws  
"Right" Dogget sighed, this had to be the worst day so far, he knew he was in trouble with  
Skinner for breaking the door handle on the canteen, he'd been turfed from his desk and chair  
that he had adjusted to suit his comfort and to top it all off, he now had to worry wether  
Mulder had been routing through his secret space.  
He sighed sadly before plodding around the desk and seating his arse on the cusioned chair,  
"Who died?" Mulder asked with sarcasm  
"My happiness" Doggett replied with melancholy  
"Sorry?"  
"I'm in trouble with Skinner" He said as he removed the plastic lid from his coffee.  
"Why?" Mulder asked with interest  
"I...I broke the door handle on the canteen door" He confessed  
"What? Why?" Mulder asked with a laugh  
"Er...I went to walk in and the handle came off" Doggett said, leaving out the part where he  
practically pulled the door down trying to get it open, "And Skinner saw me"  
"Wow looks bad" Mulder said, "He doesn't take kindly to vandalism"  
Doggett gave Mulder a dirty look before gazing up at his Disney clock on the wall, he expected  
his eyes to greet the Tweety pie face with warmth but Doggett got a shock to set his eyes on  
a green face with black eyes and a second hand ticking around. He realised his beloved clock  
had been replaced with an alien product, probably Mulder's.  
"Wheres my clock?"  
"I put it over there" Mulder said as he pointed to the broken object lying face down on a   
cabinet, Doggett noted the glass plate that once concealed and protected the hands was now  
beside it with a large crack down the middle and the minute hand rested upon the back of the  
clock.  
"What...what happened?" Doggett asked, shocked at the sight of his beloved item  
"I dropped it when I took it down" Mulder said matter-of-factly  
"Why did you take it down?"  
"Incase you forget, this is my-"  
"I HAVE RIGHTS!" Dogget shouted and he found himself gliding from his seat and rushing over to  
the broken clock, "I can't believe you did this...is it some kind of punishment? I know you  
don't like me here, you make that quite clear" Doggett blurted out, "But I don't want to be  
here either...well not with you...I want Scully to come back"  
"Why? When she comes back I'll be working with her" Mulder bitched  
"Exactly!" Doggett shouted as he rushed over to the coat hook  
"You're so childish" Mulder moaned  
"No I just don't like the way you move my stuff around, Scully was quite happy with the way I  
had this office"  
"Well I'm not and Scully isn't here"  
"My mother baught me this clock" Doggett said sadly.  
Mulder suddenly felt a drench of guilt toward Doggett, he hadn't cared earlier that day that he  
had broke the expensive Disney clock but now he realised how sentimental it was to the agent  
standing by the coat hook. He opened his mouth to say sorry but before he had the chance,  
Doggett rushed from the office.  
Doggett slammed the door behind him as he left the room, he was glad he had this meeting with  
Skinner because it gave him an excuse to get away from Mulder for a while.  
  
SKINNER'S OFFICE  
  
Doggett knocked on the door and heard the sounds of Skinner's voice summonse him in, he  
opened the door to see Skinner sitting cosily at his desk drinking from an X-men cup.  
"Agent Doggett" he said, Doggett smiled and glanced around for any signs of Kersh, he felt  
relieved to descover he wasn't around.  
Skinner motioned to the chair on the opposit side of the desk, Doggett obliged and parked his  
arse on the comfortable brown seat.  
"I want to talk to you about this afternoon" He began  
"Yes sir"  
"I demand to know why you were vandalising the door agent Doggett"  
Doggett thought for a moment, he could hardly say that he was hungry and cacking for some  
doughnuts.  
"Er...I thought it might of been jammed sir"  
"But there was a sign on it distinctly saying 'closed'" Skinner said as he sipped from the cup.  
"Oh...er..."  
"I have been attending therapy sessions agent Doggett" Skinner announced much to Doggett's  
surprise,  
"Oh...really?" He asked astounded at the announcement  
"Yes, I thought I could learn to understand the way people feel by their actions" He said,   
"Oh" Doggett said,   
"I thought it would help me to help agents in trouble. From the way you were fighting the locked  
door, I got the sense that you saw the door as an obstacle in your life that you felt you had  
to break down" He said.  
Has he lost it? Doggett asked himself, all he wanted was doughnuts not to break down some  
obstacle,  
"Do you have any obstacles in your life at the moment agent Doggett?" Skinner asked  
"Well not really"  
"Any problems with agent Mulder?"  
"A few but nothing too serious" Doggett said  
"Well?" Skinner asked  
"Its just that he makes me feel like I don't belong here and that I have no place in the office,  
he moves my stuff...turfed me from my desk and even broke my favourite clock" He blurted out.  
"It seems that agent Mulder has a possesive side, he sees you as someone taking over his life,  
taking his partner, his office" Skinner decided  
Doggett wondered why Skinner was suddenly such an expert in behaviour.   
"I suggest you talk about this problem with agent Mulder" Skinner ordered  
"Yes sir"  
"And as for the damage to the door handle"  
Doggett swallowed hard and awaited the bad news, what chore would he give him this time?  
toilet cleaning? Finishing other agents work?  
"I have thought hard about this decision agent Doggett" He said as he placed his cup on the desk,  
"And I've come to the conclusion that my only option is to terminate the x-files"  
Doggett's heart rose into his mouth, he suddenly felt his breathing become restricted by shock,  
did Skinner actually say that?  
"But...but..." Doggett found that no words could leave his lips, he felt as though his heart  
was beating out of his chest, his body felt like it had turned to some kind of jelly substance,  
"eeeeee" He became delerious and found he could not speak, let alone put a sentence together.  
"Agent Doggett?" Skinner asked in surprise at the sight of the stunned agent, "Are you ok?"  
Skinner watched as Doggett suddenly departed his chair and floated to the floor in a feather-  
like motion, he had no idea of what to do,  
"Agent Doggett?" He called as he arose from his chair and peered over the desk to see Doggett  
collapsed on the floor like a wilted dandelion, "Agent Doggett?" He called and rushed around  
the desk to his aid.  
Doggett twitched in an unfamiliar notion as he came around to the view of Skinner's bespectacled  
features,  
"Agent Doggett!" Skinner called and flung a slap to his head in an attempt to rouse him from  
his strange turn.  
Doggett felt a pounding wallop on his head and fell back into a dreamy world.  
Skinner looked at the body sprawled in his office, had he killed agent Doggett? He asked himself  
in a cacky moment,  
"Oh no" He muttered to himself,  
"Mmmmm" Doggett murmered as he flicked his eyes open to the sight of Skinner's panic-stricken  
face,  
"Agent Dogget, you're alive!" he said as he grabbed his arm and dragged his body back into the  
chair he had previously occupied.  
"Eeeee" Doggett mumbled as he sat into the chair and watched Skinner menouver back into his  
chair on the other side of the desk,  
"What happened?" Skinner asked  
"I...I came over all peculiar" Doggett answered when he suddenly remembered the closing down  
of the x-files. He couldn't let this happen, it would all be his fault, Mulder and Scully had  
dedicated their lives to those files for several years now.  
"Sir you can't close the x-files" He blurted out, "It's not fair on Mulder and Scully, I only  
accidently broke a door handle...isn't this a bit drastic?"  
"Agent Doggett, I understand that you care about agent's Mulder and Scully but you must realise  
that this is a satisfactory punishment for your behavior" Skinner said, "Now I think you should  
go and clear the office"  
Doggett felt his jaw drop to the floor,  
"Am...am I fired?" He asked  
"No agent Doggett, you will be working in department D" Skinner replied, "Agent's Mulder and  
Scully will be working in the missing animals department"  
"What?" Doggett asked in shock, uncertain he had even heard what Skinner had said, "Missing  
animals? You can't do that to them and I'm not even qualified for department D"  
"Oh well then you are fired agent Doggett because there are no other open posts here...unless  
you want to take over from Johnny the janitor?" Skinner asked  
"Huh?" Doggett felt like his body was ready to implicate another strange turn but somehow he  
managed to stop the spasm occupying his torso.  
"I suggest you go and clear your office and tell agent Mildy and Scullooo to report to me and  
get their new positions sorted" Skinner demanded  
"Mildy and Scullooo?" Doggett asked in shock  
"What? You're talking in riddles boy, leave now" Skinner ordered.  
  
OFFICE  
Doggett trapsed down the hall and opened the door to be greeted with the view of Mulder  
sitting at 'his' desk chatting to Scully who had mysteriously turned up.  
"Doggett, whats the damage?" Mulder asked with a smile, "Hey look I fixed your clock" He said  
as he held up the tweetie pie product. Doggett eyed the clock with a large crack down the middle,  
"Oh...thanks" He said  
"You look like you've seen a ghost" Scully joked  
"I...I can't believe it" Doggett mumbled as he wondered over to Scully's desk and perched his  
little arse on the corner,  
"What is it?" Scully asked, concerned with his strange mood.  
"It's Skinner"  
"Skinner? Is he acting weird?" She asked, "I wanted to talk to you about that, I was just telling  
Mulder that I think he may be having some kind of mid-life crisis...he was spotted in Kordino's  
nightclub on Tidy street in the early hours last night" She said. Doggett would usually find  
the situation funny but under the circumstances he felt more like crying.  
"What happened?" Mulder asked  
"He said..." Doggett found it hard to use words to describe the recent incident, they would be  
nasty to him and blame him. Doggett looked at Mulder and Scully's faces awaiting his news, how  
could he possibly tell such anxious faces this terrible news?  
"Er..."  
"Well?" Scully asked,  
"Well to be frank, Skinner is terminating the x-files" He blurted out, silence filled the office  
as Mulder and Scully's jaws dropped to the ground,  
"WHAT!" Mulder screeched, "WHY?"  
"Er" Doggett didn't quite know how to handle the situation and found himself begin to weep due  
to the pressure, "I...I...can't understand why he is doing this...just because I broke the door  
handle" He sobbed.  
"What? This is because of you?" Scully asked  
"Surely he can't do that over such a thing...can he?" Doggett asked  
"This isn't happening" Mulder said as he began to sob, "I can't believe this" He said and a flood  
of tears emerged, followed by unbelievably loud crying.  
"Oh Mulder" Scully said as she rushed over, "There there, I'm sure we can work something out" She  
said as she patted his back,  
"He said he was putting you both in the missing animals department" Doggett said and Mulder began  
to scream and cry at the same time,  
"MISSING ANIMALS?" He yelled  
"Er...yes...how do you think I feel? I'm fired" Doggett said sorrowfully  
"You're fired?" Scully asked with surprise  
"Yes and he even called you Mildy and Sculloo, I think he's losing his mind"  
"Look I think we should all go and see Skinner about this, I think he may be having some kind of  
midlife crisis" Scully decided, "We can talk to Kersh when he comes in tommorrow"  
  
SKINNER'S OFFICE  
Doggett pounded on the door to the office only to recieve no reply, he tried again but  
still no reply.  
"Is he in there?" Mulder asked in a bitchy way, he felt so angry toward Doggett for this,  
"Doesn't look like it" Doggett replied not noting the nastiness in Mulder's voice.  
"Hey you guys looking for Skinner?" Agent Baptist asked as he walked passed them clutching a  
large filofax  
"Yeah" Mulder replied  
"He went home a minute ago, said he had some stuff to do" Agent Baptist said as he wondered off  
into an office down the hall.  
"Great" Doggett sighed,  
"Well, we'll just go to his house instead" Scully decided.  
  
SKINNER'S HOUSE  
The three agents climbed out of Scully's car and menouvered to the front door. Mulder  
lifted his arm and clenched his fist in an attempt to knock but suddenly felt a hand grip his  
wrist and restrict his movement,  
"Wait" Doggett whispered as he released Mulder's hand, "Listen" He said.  
Mulder and Scully stopped in their tracks and suddenly heard the sounds of music coming from  
inside the house,  
"Hey it's weapon of choice by fatboy slim" Doggett smiled, "I love that song"  
"Yeah well this isn't the time to discuss musical tastes. Incase you forget, our jobs are on the  
line" Mulder bitched as he raised his arm and succeded in knocking on the front door.  
Moments passed before the door whipped open to reveal Skinner dressed in a black t-shirt with  
the motif 'kill your TV', a pair of combat shorts and a hat resembling the kind Liam Gallagher  
wears.  
"Sir" Mulder said as he eyed Skinner in a strange way, "Er we need to speak"  
"Not now agents, I'm preparing" He replied  
"For what?" Doggett asked nosily  
"For a concert tonight, I want to get there early to get a good spot"  
"A concert?" Scully asked in surprise  
"Yes, incase you haven't heard the backstreet boys are playing at Washington stadium tonight"   
"The backstreet boys?" Mulder asked  
"Yes, now I suggest you leave your matters until tommorrow"  
"But sir, it can't wait" Doggett said, "We need to see you about-"  
"I said not now" Skinner snapped and slammed the door shut in the three agent's faces.  
"Now what?" Mulder asked  
"Looks like we'll have to speak to Kersh first thing" Scully said.  
  
NEXT DAY 8:55 AM  
  
Doggett was the first to get in work today. he was usually late but on this occasion  
he resisted the temptation to switch his larm to 'snooze' and jumped out of bed. He took a   
seat on the wooden bench and awaited Kersh's arrival, he knew that he usually turned up around  
nine,  
"Agent Doggett" A voice sounded, Doggett looked to see Kersh standing beside him clutching two  
doughnuts and a cup, it was then that Doggett realised he had missed the breakfast cart. Not  
that it mattered considering that he 'technically' didn't work there anymore anyway,  
"Oh er I need to speak with you sir" Doggett said as he shakily stood from the bench, he hadn't  
realised how nervous he was until that moment.  
"Okay, I have a moment to spare" Kersh said glancing at his watch, "Step inside" He said as  
he wondered over to his office door and shoved a key in the lock. Doggett followed Kersh  
inside and took a seat next to the desk.  
"What is it agent Doggett?" Kersh asked as he sat at his desk and took an over-sized bite from  
his doughnut.  
"It's about assistant director Skinner" Doggett began, "It all started yesterday afternoon...I  
went up to the canteen to get some lunch for me and agent Mulder, something light like a  
sandwich or even a roll or something...actually I think I intended to get a tuna bagette each-"  
"Just get to the point please, I don't have all day" Kersh said with a raised voice.  
"Oh of course, er...well, I tried to open the door but I couldn't and I thought the handle was  
jammed or something" Doggett lied  
"It didn't occur to you that the canteen was closed?" Kersh asked, "I know they were installing  
a new food counter down there yesterday"  
"Er...no, I didn't know" Doggett lied, "Anyway I tried to pull it open but the handle came off  
in my hand and Skinner saw me...next thing I know I'm fired and Agent Mulder and Scully are  
placed in the missing animals department" He blurted out.  
Kersh's face turned to shock,  
"Is this some kind of prank agent Doggett?" He asked with extreme seriousness  
"No sir, it's true"  
"Missing animals department?"  
"Yes sir" Doggett said sorrowfully  
"Okay agent Doggett, I need to take this issue up with assistant director Skinner" Kersh said,  
"You may leave"  
"But leave to where? Do I still work here?" Doggett asked  
"Yes until you are told otherwise, go to your office as normal and I'll-" A knock at the door  
suddenly broke Kersh's sentence, "Come in" He called.  
The door opened to reveal Skinner dressed in a navy silk shirt, the kind Ricky Martin would  
usually be seen in complete with black leather jeans, shades and a navy GAP baseball cap.  
"Good morning how was- oh agent Doggett, what are you doing here? I thought I fired you" He  
said as he wondered into the room  
"But you told me to sort this out today" Doggett said.  
"Huh? Sort what out?"  
"When me, Mulder and Scully came to your house yesterday you told us to 'leave our matters  
until tomorrow' remember?" Doggett asked with frustration,  
"I suggest you don't talk to me in such a manner agent Doggett" Skinner said as he proceded to  
Kersh's desk and took a seat on the chair opposit Doggett,  
"Agent Doggett, go now please" Kersh said, "I will get back to you"  
"Yes sir" Doggett said as he stood from the chair.  
"Agent Doggett, there are some cardboard boxes in the lobby if you need then to clear your stuff  
away" Skinner said as Doggett walked over to the door. He turned to face Skinner and opened his  
mouth to speak but caught sight of Kersh waving him out of the office and obliged with his request.  
Doggett stepped out of the office and closed the door before noticing Mulder and Scully sitting  
on the wooden bench outside,  
"Doggett?" Scully asked in surprise, "Are you in work at THIS hour?" She asked in shock at   
seeing him early in the morning for the first time. Usually he didn't turn up until about an  
hour after start time and expected her to lie to Skinner about his working hours.  
"Yes" Doggett replied,   
"Did you see Kersh?" Mulder asked  
"Yeah, he said he'd talk to Skinner about it and get back to me"  
"Well surely Kersh wouldn't let this happen" Scully decided  
"I don't know, he isn't exactly overly keen on the x files anyway" Mulder said, "I just can't  
believe this. He is acting so wierd"  
"I know, did you see his clothes?" Doggett asked  
"Yeah like some kind of Latino popstar" Mulder bitched, "He asked us if we were enjoying our  
new jobs in the MA Department as he walked passed" Mulder sighed.  
Doggett couldn't help but find the situation a bit amusing, he pictured Mulder and Scully  
working in the Missing Animals department,  
"You know we can laugh about this if we end up keeping our jobs" He said  
"Yeah, I guess it is kinda funny the way he's acting" Mulder smiled  
"I feel sorry for him, he must be feeling old and doing all he can to keep his youth" Scully  
said but suddenly heard a roar of laughter from Doggett and Mulder,  
"It's not funny" She said "He needs help"  
"Yeah but it is kinda funny, you must admit...backstreet boys concert, dressing like a teenager"  
Doggett said, "The man has lost it"  
Suddenly the office door opened to reveal Kersh.  
"Agents" He said and held the door open  
The three agents obliged with his command and wondered into the room with a nervous disposition.  
Skinner sat in the same chair with a walkman at hand, the sounds of Angel by shaggy could faintly  
be heard through the earpiece and Doggett spotted that he had removed his shades and was now  
spectacle-less and he concluded he must have switched to contact lenses.  
"Me and Assistant director Skinner have come to an agreement about this situation" Kersh said  
"We have decided that this doesn't concern you both" He said as he motioned to Mulder and Scully  
"And you will be punished for your actions by taking over from the janitor for a week" He said  
as he looked to Doggett.  
"Yes sir" Dogget sighed  
"You will all keep your work positions and the x files will not be closed down"  
the three agents breathed a large sigh of relief, "But I think you should watch your actions in  
future agent Doggett because you seem to land yourself in alot of trouble" Kersh warned.  
"Of course sir"  
"Now get to work and report to me at noon. I have a case for you and agent Mulder. Oh and agent  
Scully may I ask how you got envolved in this? Aren't you on maternity leave?"  
"Yes...I just dropped by to make sure everything was okay between agent Mulder and agent Doggett"  
She lied, really she was just bored with sitting around on her arse in her apartment.  
"Okay well you should go home now" Kersh decided  
"Yes sir" She said as she wondered back to the door.  
Doggett took a look at Skinner before leaving the office, he seemed to be doing some kind of  
weird head movement in a dancing notion to what sounded like Song 2 by Blur.  
  
OFFICE  
Mulder, Scully and Doggett walked into the office with relief, it was then that Doggett  
remembered he had missed the breakfast cart but he found solace in the remembrance that the  
canteen opened at 9:30.  
"You nearly cost us our jobs" Mulder bitched  
"I didn't mean to" Doggett defended, "I just wanted to get into the canteen I didn't think it  
would cause such a comotion"  
"Maybe you should think before you act" Scully said as she took Mulder's side as usual.  
"Okay okay I will, I'm sorry" Doggett said in an attempt to stop an argument unfolding  
"Anyway wheres my clock?"  
"Here" Mulder said as he picked up the timepiece from his desk and held it out to Doggett.  
He snatched the precious item and admired it, it looked almost the same if it wasn't for the  
large crack down the middle.  
"Sorry about the crack I couldn't do anything about that" Mulder said  
"It's okay, I have one the same at home"  
Mulder suddenly felt annoyed that he had worked so hard fixing it because he thought it was so  
unique and he had the exact same thing at home all the time. he decided not to say anything  
incase one of their usual arguments took place  
"Well I guess I should be going" Scully sighed, "I'll see you both"  
"See ya" Doggett smiled and applied an unsuspected kiss on her cheek, Mulder saw the kiss  
supplied by Doggett and saw how pleased she was.  
Scully suddenly felt another kiss on her other cheek supplied by Mulder,  
"Goodbye" he smiled in an attempt to rival Doggett's nice goobye.  
"Wow I am the popular one" She joked guessing the strange incident was brought on by the   
happiness of the two agents at keeping their jobs and perhaps her pregnancy, she noticed she  
got alot of kisses during her pregnancy just not yet from her precious Willmore.  
"Goodbye" She smiled and left the office, she peered around the door, "remember you have to  
report to Kersh at noon" She said before dissapearing.  
Doggett wondered over to Scully's desk and took a seat, he suddenly found that his desk  
was occupied by a large pink fluffy bunny, he looked in confusion...was he imagining it? Was  
Skinner's madness washing off on him? He reached out to it and felt a soft sensation which  
made him accept the bunny as being real, he picked it up and smiled at the cuteness. It suddenly  
occured to him that he had bought a similar one for Scully a few days ago, only smaller and  
not as good.  
Mulder looked over at Doggett to see he was admiring the pink fluffy bunny he had bought for  
Scully,  
"Oh I forgot to give that to her" He said and darted over, Doggett felt the bunny depart his  
grasp and watched as Mulder flew out the door with it under his arm.  
Doggett sighed and sat back in his chair,  
"ah" He smiled at the fact he still had his job but then remembered his punishment of being the  
janitor all week, "great"  
He realised that he was in desperation to hear his favourite song, Teenage dirtbag by wheatus and  
found himself grabbing his walkman from his satchell.  
  
THE END 


End file.
